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I played around with it some more in Picasa. I took away color, added color, did film grain, then focal point color and then did a few more rounds. I like how this one looks almost animated and like there is something bright and glowing. This is my first experience drawing something on paper and then playing around with it on the computer. It was really fun. Happy Spring Vacation!

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

Anais Nin

Save the Arctic! (Oh, come on, it’ll be fun.)

Yes, my home state voted to drill in the Arctic. (Why, home state, why??!) But apparently, all is not lost. You, yes, you, can still sign a petition that could SAVE THE ARCTIC. (Wouldn’t that make you feel good?)

On March 16th the Senate voted by a razor-thin margin to open the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil drilling by sneaking a measure into the budget bill. But the fight to protect the Refuge is not over. Send your Senators and Representatives a message now, telling them to vote against any FINAL budget measure that would allow oil drilling in the Arctic Refuge.

Illustration Friday: Fragile

I REALLY wanted to do some hand made art, something with different kinds of fragile materials, but I had a busy week and it is down to the last hour. I have no scanner, so… computer drawing it is.

The theme of the week was “Fragile” There were a lot of wine glasses, butterflies, earths, broken hearts, and a disturbing number of waif like women, including the form of fairies. I think the topic made people feel fragile. A lot of people were expressing their vulnerability. As you know, I’ve also been feeling fragile lately. So many good pictures, so many obsessive impulses to click on every single link. I started from the end (150 something and got to 40 something!! Argghhh!) Don’t be like me! Just click on a random few, or look at some of my favorites:

• A sweet little cartoon at Tracey Miller Designs,
• Annie’s (previously mentioned) Earth ship,
• and, the most moving to me, just an open book and a poem at Italian Culture.

Blog of the Day: Annie Bissett

Oh just ’cause. (to the unspoken question: “Why is this the blog of the day?”) And, I haven’t done a blog of the day post for awhile and her illustrations are really unique, yet familiar. I think they remind me of old fashioned chldren’s book illustrations, but I’m not sure. What do you think? Also, if you go to her main site, you will see that her portfolio is really unusual for an illustrator and includes charts and maps among other things. Hmmm? Click on her “Year of Fridays” link to see her orignal and interesting take on the Friday themes. I liked a lot of them. About all these proffessional illustrators, I have to wonder, do they actually make enough money to support themselves doing this or are they doing the ” a room of one’s own thing” and getting a patron in some form or another? Right now my patron is an unthinkable, forehead scrunchable amount of student loans from the federal government. Thanks, all ya’ll.

The Luck of the Irish to ‘Ya

Wow, St. Patrick’s Day is more interesting than I thought. Check out the “History of St. Patrick’s Day” video at the History channel. Unlike so many Pagan celebrations that have been repurposed as Christian holidays, St. Patrick’s day is a Fundamentally Christian holiday (really a holy-day) that looks a lot more like a Pagan celebration. Interesting!

May she never pass this way again

For some reason my blogrolling links aren’t showing the little “new!” in front of them when someone has posted. So I just want to let you know that Yak has a new post. (And what a tale she has to tell.) Last night she passed a kidney stone. The stupid ER staff let her vomit and roll around in pain in the waiting room, (and this is someone who can walk/run 50 miles,) because they won’t give pain medication to a patient who hasn’t been seen by the doctors. Good old Yak isn’t bitter though, just glad it’s over. Check out her story at Yak’s Place.

Interview with God

Natalie, Autoly, Augustine, Blogustine continues her interview with God. Yes, GOD! Yes, that God.

Save the Arctic!

(Boy I just can’t seem to get away from these long posts lately.) Help save the arctic, will ya? I know you’re glad some far-sighted folks saved the Grand Canyon for us all and Yosemite and Zion’s. Gosh this Earth is beautiful, let’s keep it that way. Here is a decidedly Democratic letter, BUT I think saving this planet is a priority for all the people, no matter what your political leanings.

We have only 24 to 48 hours to try and save the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.

Several Republicans are trying to sneak legislation through the Senate approving oil drilling and they are incredibly close to winning. We have to stop them.

I am joining with Senator Maria Cantwell (D-Washington) in offering a critical amendment to stop this sneak attack on our environment. We will fight on the floor of the Senate, but we need you by our side.

There are seven key Republican Senators whose votes will decide the future of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. Before they vote, we need to make sure they know that their constituents are watching, and that they will not be able to support drilling without anybody noticing.

Here are two critical steps we can take together to support our amendment to protect this National Wildlife Refuge:

1. Join the Citizens’ Roll Call
First of all, take part in a massive fast-moving display of citizen support for the Arctic Refuge. Sign our Cantwell-Kerry Citizens’ Roll Call now.

http://www.johnkerry.com/RollCall

To make our Citizens’ Roll Call impossible to ignore, we have alerted the media, environmental advocates and my fellow Senators to a scrolling display of the names and home towns of the roll call signers. It is posted on our johnkerry.com website, where we hope to soon add your name and a running tally of the number of citizens on our Citizens’ Roll Call.

2. Bring the fight to the home states of the seven senators
We need to launch emergency online advertising campaigns in the home states of those seven critical senators: Senator Coleman (MN), Senator Smith (OR), Senator Specter (PA), Senator Martinez (FL), Senator Lugar (IN), and Senators Gregg and Sununu (NH).

We need your help to bring our Save the Arctic Refuge message home in these six states. Help us fund an emergency ad campaign to make sure they know how strongly the people they represent feel about protecting the Arctic. Please make an emergency donation right now.

http://contribute.johnkerry.com

When Senator Cantwell, myself and other Senators stand up in support of the Cantwell-Kerry Amendment, we will have powerful arguments on our side. (I have recapped some of those arguments at the end of this email message)

But, to win, we need to be able to report directly to our Senate colleagues that massive numbers of citizens around the country – and in their own states – are rising up to demand that the Senate protect the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.

That’s why your immediate signature is so critical.

http://www.johnkerry.com/RollCall

The Bush Administration and its oil industry allies want to send a message that they can drill for oil wherever and whenever they want to – even if it means targeting a place as striking, pristine and irreplaceable as the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.

They don’t care about putting America on a genuine path to energy independence. If they did, they’d support efforts to increase energy conservation and to create clean, renewable sources of energy that no terrorist can sabotage and no foreign government can seize.

Let me be very direct with you. It is going to take an immediate and impossible-to-ignore display of grassroots support to stop them. That’s why your decision to sign our Cantwell-Kerry Amendment Citizens’ Roll Call is so crucial.

Thank you for acting quickly on this vital request.

John Kerry

P.S. Senator Cantwell, who comes from a state in the heart of the Pacific Northwest, has – at considerable political risk – courageously stepped forward to join me in leading this fight. We need you to help us win it.

http://www.johnkerry.com/RollCall

HERE ARE YOUR SAVE THE ARCTIC REFUGE TALKING POINTS

• The Arctic National Wildlife Refuge’s 19 million acres comprise one of the last places on earth where an intact expanse of arctic and sub arctic lands remains protected.

• Drilling in the Arctic Refuge can’t make even a small dent in meeting America’s energy needs. U.S. Geological Survey scientists estimate that there is very likely only enough oil to supply America’s needs for six months. And oil companies admit that, even that, won’t be available for at least 10 years.

• An irreplaceable natural treasure, the Arctic Refuge is home to caribou, polar bears, grizzly bears, wolves, golden eagles, snow geese and more. Millions of other birds use the Arctic Refuge to nest and as a critical staging area on their migratory journeys.

• Of course, the Arctic Refuge supports more than wildlife. For a thousand generations, the Gwich’in people of Northeast Alaska and Northwest Canada have depended on it and lived in harmony with it. To them, the Arctic Coastal Plain is sacred ground.

Self-Sabotage can be Healthy

Umm.. yes, while it’s true that it’s good to love yourself and if you don’t you might self-sabotage (see last post,) self sabotage can also be healthy! I forgot about that until today when I was listening to a CD of my old NLP instructor Nick Le Force. He reminded me that if you try and make a change that does not meet the needs of all parts of yourself, you might self-sabotage. You’ve got to consider ECOLOGY! Resistance may be an important signal to you that there are other important factors you need to consider as you create your goal.

Here is some web-based advice to deal with self-sabotage. John David Hoag writes about ecology issues that come up when creating goals:

“What do you want?” isn’t always easy to answer. We may have conflicting thoughts or feelings about it. We might welcome help to resolve an important issue. But beneath our desire for help we might not be entirely sure we want the issue resolved. It might be a sort of “inner secret” for us, even to ourselves. This is called an “ecology issue” in NLP. Unlike traditional therapy which calls it “resistance,” NLP doesn’t minimize or pathologize it. In NLP we understand that it is precisely those ecology issues that are the keys to unlocking new realms of potential. Before any change can take place — and reaching a goal is a change — resolving a problem is a change — the ecology must be attended to. Otherwise, we’ll be going nowhere fast on the road to our desired outcome. Our ecology issues can stop us — because they’re so important.

So, how do we figure out what those conflicting thoughts/feelings/needs are? Laura Moncur at Starling Fitness recommends writing it out, so does Sraightforward Coaching:

If you find yourself struggling to manifest a goal you have set yourself, try this exercise* to discover the hidden fears, beliefs and values that might be holding you back: write down all the reasons why you DON’T want that goal in your life. Let your darkest thoughts surrounding your goal reveal themselves on paper and keep writing until you can’t come up with any more. These are some of the fears, beliefs and consequences surrounding your goal or decision and they might include the one(s) that are holding you back. Once they are all out in the open, you may find some issues you need to work through before you are ready to achieve your target. Reframing or redefining your goal to address the conflicting value or belief could also work to integrate the goal with your personal ecology.

After asking yourself some good questions, NLP Weekly recommends giving yourself time:

Let the questions sink in.
Write them in your journal (you do have a journal, right?).
Read them before bed time and wait for answers.
You’ll get dreams, songs, words, flashes, memories, voices… don’t ignore them. It’s important to notice, note and acknowledge. Your brain doesn’t like keeping riddles unsolved.
Asking good questions and giving it time to find the answers with no pressure, is one the greatest talents you can develop.

Reading and thinking about ecology reminded me, once again, how important it is to treat myself kindly. If part of me is protesting, (which shows up in my weight loss goals as eating fattening food I don’t even want,) then instead of dragging those protesting parts of myself kicking and screaming, I can attend to myself, (listen!) and do my best to meet all my needs, address my concerns, and calm my fears. As you know, those protesting parts are hard to ignore. You might as well turn to them and say, “So, what do you want, anyway?”

Hug the Dragon

Keeping your body healthy is an expression of gratitude to the whole cosmos – the trees, the clouds, everything.

-Thich Nhat Hanh

I was just reminded of how great Laura Moncur’s fitness blog is. Head on over to Starling Fitness and check it out. I read every article in the Motivation section. As I read about her internal struggles- the thoughts, the self-sabotage, I thought, there is no point in trying to trick myself into exercising because, until I wholly love and accept myself, there will always be some part of me that self-sabotages. Now I also remember that besides telling myself that I love myself, another way for me to understand that I am worthy of love and care is to show myself. One way to show myself that I love and care about myself is to eat healthy foods and do healthy exercise.

More tips for treating yourself like you are worthy of love and care:

• Buck societal trends: Reward yourself for what you do, not how you look. In fitness goals that translates to: consider yourself a success when you take actions towards your fitness goals, whatever the result on the scale.

• Be kind to yourself in little ways. Are you sitting in an uncomfortable position? Shift your body now, stretch, breathe deeply. Let yourself feel comfortable physically.

• Remember what activities you enjoy. Make doing activities you enjoy a priority in your life! If you love painting and think you don’t have time for the full blown hobby, take some time today to do a small sketch. Even giving yourself a little of what you love is a kindness. It’s better to give yourself something today than to withhold from yourself until you can have it perfectly.

• Don’t wait until you think you deserve love to be kind to yourself. Has anyone ever loved you unconditionally before? It’s time someone does. You can be that someone.

• If you have trouble unconditionally loving yourself… don’t get down on yourself for that! You can always step out one level from your current thoughts and acknowledge your thoughts or behavior and say “ok, I acknowledge that.” Sometimes it’s not the thought or behavior itself that hurts, but the meta-thought you have about it. For example, if you feel depressed just notice how you feel and avoid adding an additional layer of hatred, blame or guilt for what you are feeling. If you feel fat, just notice that, love yourself anyway and avoid adding an additional layer of anger or guilt or self-hatred. I think that is part of what “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional” means.

Didn’t I start this entry by talking about fitness motivation? What does all this self-love talk have to do with that? Well, if you want to get fit, and then you create a plan, and then you follow that plan, probably nothing. BUT if you want to get fit, and then create a plan, and then you… try to do it and sometimes do it, but sometimes buy yourself donuts (or potato chips or…) even as another part of you is screaming ”NO!!”, or some part of you refuses to go running even though you know you‘d feel better if you did, or you lose weight and then freak out when someone gives you a compliment then… you may have a little self-sabotage going on. One way to deal with the self-sabatoger is to love the little bugger. Hug the dragon. As all of you is loved (by you,) you (all of you) will want what is best for you, because you will know/feel you are worthy of the best.

So, practice unconditionally loving yourself so you can be of one accord, want to be healthy, create a healthy plan, and simply follow it. In the meantime, use some of Laura’s motivation suggestions and gently drag yourself out to excercise. Be a good parent to yourself, and with all the kindness and compassion you can muster tell yourself, “I’m doing this because I love you, you’ll thank me when you’re older.”

For another look at positive self-talk,check out Norm Ephraim’s article.