June 19, 2005
June 18, 2005
June 17, 2005
Well, I’m feeling much better now. I was going to write a review of Fiddler on the Roof and tell you why I think it is so brilliant, (looks at moving from a traditional to a modern/post-modern society, looks at the tragedy of life and the saving joy of love, made a play about Russian Jews being evicted from their homes that people want to watch!) but instead, I just want to touch bases and say “Wuz up?!”:) I’m still writing from a foreign computer so I don’t feel quite my Braidwood blogging self. I’m still looking for a job, and tommorrow I’m going to start recording songs for my own CD! (Ultra private label My new room is taking shape- I’m sleeping on a camping mat till I get my own bed and I just realized that is why I’ve been extra tired. And I must be doing crunches in my sleep, because it feels like my abs are getting a workout. Happy Summer’s Day to you!
Categories: My Life
June 13, 2005
I’m in my new home and this is my frst time online since Friday! That’s a long time for me. All is chaos and boxes and purple and lime green walls (soon to be soft gold!) My computer is not hooked up to the internet and so I’m using my roommates super faster computer. She uses Internet Explorer as a browser. Wow, I’m so sorry all IE users, my blog looks atrocious in this browser. I am still looking for a job with several helpful leads from friends. Thank you, friends!
The job hunting process, moving, and my previous hostile roommate have combined forces to awaken all my primal fears. Do all fears eventually find their source in the fear of death? I’ve been having such waves of fear. It’s intense. I’m remembering to be gentle with myself during this transition time. I’m listening to a Tony Robbins tape about overcoming fear while I organize. While I walked around my new neighborhood exploring today, I thought that I need to do some serious meditation or something. A friend said that it’s better not to think about death and the bad things that can happen, but I want to have my eyes completely open and feel at peace. Today I’m working on ordering the small chaos in my room. I think when I have soft gold walls, everything will be ok. Good luck to all ya’ll today.
Categories: My Life
June 10, 2005
June 9, 2005
I have become convinced that doing inner work is one of the most effective ways to get results in my outer life.
For example, I used to try and figure out how to make friends. I needed friend-making skills and I watched what good friend-makers did. Skills are important to gain, but there are so many intricate signals that people send out, that it is hard to replicate them consciously. Now, I just naturally attract smart, kind, fun people. (“Amen!” Say all my friends. And it is a result of doing inner work that had nothing to do with the goal of attracting good friends. In fact, it was strange when I noticed that I didn’t have to try and get that kind of person to like me anymore. That’s just who seemed to be around me. It was like the actual outer world had shifted. Unlike some people, I don’’t attribute this to any mystical forces. It is simply that we have fairly small orbits and what seems to be our whole world is just made up of the daily people, places, and activities we experience. Because of what we think, believe, and feel, we make certain decisions and socially, give off many subtle signals. This determines what is in our daily world and so this can make the whole universe seem to shift.
Next post: My inner work plan for the Summer.
June 8, 2005
from this week of web surfing:
The discussions in my aerobics class, like the media coverage from which they originate, are skewed in many ways. Often, for example, the intensity of anxiety stands in inverse proportion to the prevalence of the problem.
June 7, 2005
Hey, I just figured out how to have a page of category posts! I’m going to use Technorati! I apologize in advance to my friends who subscribe to this blog. I’m going to go back through the old posts and categorize them, so there will be a lot of new posts showing up. Sorry about that!
You can use technorati tags too. It might even raise your stats! I’ll let you know how it works for me. Yay, categories!
June 7, 2005
I see now why people like the Real Live Preacher. Not a Christian myself, I have started to think of Christian people as cruel lately, sadly. It was nice to read RLP blog and open my heart again. I truly believe that it is not ok to sacrifice people for principle. I have been trying to find the words for that for a long time. Here are some good ones from a dramatized bible story at RLP:
Thomas said, “I’ve been thinking a lot about that night, and I remember something that Jesus said. It was back in Galilee, by the sea. He said that he would never sacrifice even one small person on the high altar of principle. And he said we would begin to know God when we understood that people were more important than ideas and principles. You know, it was like that other thing he always said, that the Sabbath was made for people and not the other way around.”
And he said we would begin to know God when we understood that people were more important than ideas and principles.
Does that put a lump in your throat, too?
June 6, 2005
I got the inspiration for this potentially irritating post from a comment on this blog.
In keeping with the digital theme:
Get your secret decoder here.