Thanksgiving poem

November 24, 2004

My thankfulness is a circle of thanks

With outer edges extending

My blue skies touch

Another’s pain

My bed of flowers

Touches the same earth

They huddle near

In terror

As bombs drop

And lives change

And families

And fragile bodies

Are torn apart.

Without our help, life itself, can part us


Strands pulled and wearing at every corner

Do we need to add to the fray?

I’m thankful for peace and love

And gentle kindness

Woven by us in the small particular moments of our own small universes.

May we see through someone else’s eyes

On this Thanksgiving Day.



This is a work in progress. What do you think?


I need advice, HELP please!!

November 24, 2004

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I’ve kind of prided myself on being able to stay connected to the people in my family who have very different political ideas… but I need some advice. Usually, I try to listen and understand where people are coming from, but right now I feel so outraged about the torture and killing going on in Iraq that I don’t feel, morally, that I can stay silent. Also, I feel very strongly about the current political issues, so I have a hard time talking about it without getting intense. I also don’t want to have a contentious or tension filled Thanksgiving. I’m going to be at my aunt’s house who is far right politically.


I’d like to be able to say what I think, inform my family of what’s going on, yet keep it light and warm and stay connected…


Thanks for any help! I was just on the phone with my mom and she said, “What ever you do, don’t bring up politics.” Even that made me angry and I said that with what is happening in the world right now, I feel it would be immoral not to  speak up.


Any ideas?

Go Figure

November 23, 2004

I need help thinking of a better caption for this picture. What would be a funnier caption than “I don’t get it…But I might like it.” ??? I’ll re-do the picture with the winning caption!

Natalie wrote to me! Natalie wrote to me! Natalie wrote to me! And she said she liked my pictures!! So, there.

See, that is why it is worth it to blog, even though the highest amount of unique visitors I’ve had has only been 35. Even though my posts often sound clumsy. Even though my site will probably never look as good as French Toast Girl’s. Natalie wrote to me. 🙂

Let’s talk about sex

November 17, 2004

I saw Kinsey last night. It’s the true story of Alfred and Clara Kinsey who, along with a team of researchers, did scientific studies of human sexual behavior in the United States. I thought it was well done, thought provoking and disturbing, and I recommend it. It was sexually graphic, so I wouldn’t recommend taking your kids, although you might want to talk to them about the ideas in it.

Concerned Women for America are planning to protest the movie. I find this interesting since there are so many lascivious movies out. Why did they decide to protest the Kinsey report? It can’t be the sexuality shown, even though this movie was very graphic by my standards, there are much more sexually graphic movies. [The 82 year old woman next to me said she liked the pictures.] Is it the story? Are they protesting telling the true story of the people who studied human sexual behavior in America? Is it because they think he shouldn’t have done the study or because they are upset by what he found? Do they dislike his lifestyle and disagree with his views?

I highly disliked several aspects of his lifestyle and disagree with part of his philosophy about sex. Splitting sexual debate into two simplified camps; there are the prescribers and the describers. Kinsey was a describer. He falls into the camp of anything goes. This group prides itself on being open minded and sexually free. They avoid prescriptions at all costs saying that anything is alright as long as no one gets hurt. They won’t tell the truth about how sex affects them. I know many people who say sex can just be for pleasure, we are animals and it is only societal convention that makes sex emotional. Of course, we are animals, we are animals that bond through touch, and when sexual bonds are broken, it hurts. In the movie, Clara gets it right when she says, “Did you ever think that societal norms are there for a reason?”

The other group prescribes sexual behavior. They have a set idea of what is ok sexually and what isn’t ok. Of course, there is variety in the prescriptions. They don’t want to hear about the actual sexual behavior that people are engaged in and they are often hypocrites, spouting theory that their behavior doesn’t match up with. This group doesn’t want sex ed taught or condoms handed out because teenagers SHOULDN’T be having sex, ignoring the fact that they ARE.

I find either type of viewpoint equally repugnant for the exact same reason. Maybe it’s the scientist in me; I’m annoyed when people ignore reality for theory. I consider both groups to be publicly dishonest, even when they are honest people at home. This is often the trouble when people start getting off into theory, ignoring their own and other people’s experiences. My anecdotal evidence of people I know who prescribe certain sexual behavior is that none of them live up to their ideals, me included. My personal experience of the people who say that anything goes sexually is that they are all, I mean ALL, affected emotionally by their sexual relationships, just like everyone else.

Why deny reality publicly? Maybe it is the adversarial way we debate issues in this country. Perhaps both sides fear that if they give a more nuanced view, the other side will use it as a weakness to promote their agenda. Boy, have people used Kinsey’s research to promote agendas. The most disturbing agenda I found while researching the anti-Kinsey articles, is that a group of pedophiles have used the report to justify molesting children. It made my skin crawl just reading this article. Labeling something common or rare doesn’t take away how good or bad it may be for you. Even something common may be very unhealthy.

So, why do I still recommend the movie? Food is often equated with sex these days and I’ll continue the analogy here to make my point. If you were in favor of a very particular nutritional plan, would you therefore be against finding out what people currently eat? What if the people who did the study had a different nutritional ideal in mind? Would you then be against the study? What if the people who did the accurate study ate very unhealthy meals? If the study was done well and accurately, to my mind it benefits anyone interested in nutrition to know what people are currently eating. From an organizational standpoint, you can’t change if you don’t know where you are starting from. If you are really for sexual reform, it benefits you to know what people are currently doing, so accurate sex studies will only be a benefit to you. The only agenda sex studies threaten is secrecy. (If you are a great big hypocrite, then that might be the way to go.)

Alfred Kinsey was of the non-prescription, only description camp. I think the movie accurately portrays that he got it wrong. And, I still think it’s a good movie. The movie may make you uncomfortable. Being honest with yourself while you watch it may make you even more uncomfortable.

Here’s Paul Clinton’s review of the movie. (His review has some spoilers.)

Secretly Famous

November 16, 2004

I’m finding such great stuff today! Oh! Check out this graphic novel by Augustine!

Last week I worked.Today I play. Just sitting around in my pajamas exploring the blogosphere. Tommorrow… more work.

By the way, Thank you for all your “anonymous” input. For now I’ve decided to split my blog personality three ways: my “proffessional” blog, Braidwood –partly anonymous, and another TOTALLY SECRET blog, never to be revealed. My initial reason for posting anonymously, by the way, is because of my long standing wish to be “secretly famous.” You might be surprised, looking at my work, that I have a fear of becoming famous, but I do! I like being well know by my own community, but I hate the thought of giving up my traveling anonymity. I like blending in, if you can’t blend in you can never really get to know people. I would hate to be famous – oy. What with the stalkers and what not. On the other hand, I would like to have my songs and poems and art be scattered out broadly in the world. Thus, secretly famous. (I know, a fear likely never to be realized, but still.)

Not gonna do it!

November 14, 2004

(Not a)

Not this year at least. Here is what some crazy people are doing, including my friend Laura. They are writing an ENTIRE novel in 30 days, at least 50,000 words. wow. You say you have time to kill, speedy fingers and stories just waiting to flood out of you? Go to NaNoWriMo and join the throng. Hurry!

ps: I just went to Laura’s site and she has written 2 more chapters in her very “page-turner” book. yay!

Anonymous, not anonymous?

November 13, 2004

Hmmm… My blog is fairly anonymous. I have a pseudonym and I haven’t told many people about it… but I’m thinking I might want to make it even more anonymous…. Last night someone reminded me that I sent him an email telling him about my blog- this when I was trying to get more traffic. Now I’ve realized that I’m destined to be a little by road on the info super highway anyway, and that having people who know me look at my blog might inhibit my artistic expression (it already has, actually.) So, what should I do? Few people comment here that I don’t talk to regularly 🙂 But, if you feel like being really wild leave me a comment and an opinion.

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Spring 1999, Sorrow Stone

November 11, 2004

You are rare and precious to me,
My sorrow is like a deep blue stone.
I open my hands to set you free
The white bird of our love flies on.

I put the stone gently into my belly
And like a woman in her village, waiting for her lover
I carry water like I always did
Silently heavy inside.

But our love is a translucent bird in the sky
You will not return.
The sun is melting it already
It’s feathers fall like petals.

Someday when the warmth soaks through
The many layers of my skin
Through the winding tissue in muscles
Through my bones
And melts the stone
I will wake again.

Spring 1999,
Modified July 28, 2002


November 11, 2004